Press: Next time you're cut off in traffic, say a prayer - HC

Next time you're cut off in traffic, say a prayer - HC: "The Vatican issued a 'Ten Commandments' for motorists Tuesday to keep them on the road to salvation, warning drivers against the sins of road rage, abuse of alcohol or even simple rudeness."

Email: Health above romance [EH]

Yes, we’re good [email] friends -- and not by volume of words but by their depth and the trust that’s behind them [I would hope].

I take people’s (esp. women’s) words at face value and try to address them frankly. It may take a while to figure out (but I’m getting better at it) that others’ repetitions are not because they forgot [something] but because they’re insecure.

Seek health more than romance. Desire fitness above intimacy. People look for someone else to make themselves happy but true happiness comes from taking care of yourself. First things first. Who risks their health (by not exercising, seeing the doctor, etc.) just to find a relationship that may not be based on true love much less a lasting one? We need to want to live more than [to] love. First things first.

Jason’s Deli is delish and, yes, we have them here.

Musings: Fastest java in the West

I thought of a gunslinger motif where someone was spinning two coffee mugs above an oversized belt holster, each mug by the handle on the index finger of each hand, with the theme music from a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western movie playing in the background... Extra points if the mugs were full and the mugslinger was spinning them so fast they didn't spill...

Journalism: The editing trifecta

I can glance at a full page of text and promptly spot a typo, an extra word space, and even whether a period is boldface when it shouldn't be. Don't even get me started on typography.

Technology: New Microsoft slogans

During the heyday of its antitrust trials, Microsoft aimed for a softer image with the slogan "Where do you want to go today?" Lest we forget the company that monolithically transformed the software industry from a diverse and thriving biosphere into a landscape that consists of one 2-ton gorilla that feels Darwinianly "threatened" by a "competition" that now consists only of a swath of guttersnipes, here are some alternative slogans for the 4,000-pound gorilla in the room:

* Where do you think you want to go?
* Where do you think you would want to go and why would you want to go there, really?
* Where do you want us to lead you?
* Where do you want to be made to go?
* Where do you want us to take you—and for how much?
* Never mind where you want to go—how much money is in your wallet?
* When, where and how high we think you should go—we'll let you know.
* Where we go together is for us to know and for you to pay the bills.
* The future is ours—but we'll let you watch, if you buy a ticket and we feel like it.
* Upgrades! Where do you want us to send your data's ransom note?
* You created your data but we can take it away. Who's tough now?
* Come now. We mean it. Stand over here and hold this palm frond for us.
* Let them eat unpeeled grapes.

Typos: corroner (coroner)

(via the fantastic Comic Critic)

Musings: Bluetooth dachshund

(via MG) I wonder how big a Bluetooth earphone a dachsie would need if it could use a cell phone. (Probably as big as that baby bottle that Star Trek's Lt. Uhura always wore in her ear.)

Technology: Browser brilliance

I've still got it -- geek chic (tech smarts)! I solved two tech posers in the last 24 hours -- for my youngest son and for myself.

My youngest's Web browser (Microsoft Internet Explorer on an eMac) was spinning endlessly. I determined that his wireless connection and Safari Web browser were working but five Mac OS security updates going back to 2006 needed to be installed. These ran then optimized and requested a restart, after which everything ran smoothly -- even Internet Explorer would load without spinning (until you responded in the only way allowed to a security query). So I ran a series of forced quits and rapid navigations until I could get to the Microsoft support site (which will only accept IE) and learned that they stopped supporting IE on the Mac in 2005. (On reflection, it was the msn.com calls for DLL and ASP files that seemed to be precisely the problem with IE.) So I downloaded Mozilla Firefox and now everything works as slick as tiger snot on a glass door knob. My guy has Wikipedia for his home page and he is happy.

Meanwhile I have wanted to use Firefox tabbed browsing on my work laptop but "Firefox is not supported." Does this mean it is blocked or that IT just won't say how to enable Firefox? So today I decided to check the network settings under IE and match the settings under Firefox. Voila! Sixty seconds and Firefox now comes up as slick as you please. Of course Firefox will work on my home network -- and it will remember the occasional news-site password better than IE, which positively seems to suffer from amnesia.

Oh yes, the trick works with Netscape Navigator too.

Email: Prince among frogs [EH]

I'm glad I make you (and others) laugh -- I'd hate to be a sad sack (or maybe if I was I just wouldn't know enough to care either way).

Don't think you missed any such boat. Plenty of people get married in later years. I believe we can each of us do what we want to do and choose to do (desire and motivation yields action).

NEVER give a superficial person any credence -- I had to learn that in business. If someone won't put their name on their opinion, their opinion means nothing. If someone won't act professionally, their business relationship (money) is worth nothing. STOP counting how many men have passed you by -- if they are looking for only eye candy or airheads, forgive me but WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE what stupid choices they make? Focus on recognizing Prince Charming when you meet him, not [on] counting every frog in the festering swamp that online dating has apparently become.

Email: Quid pro quo [EH]

In the general work force, you don't show weakness or trepidation in an interview setting. You put your best foot forward. Similarly, I might caution women against showing rampant insecurity and second-guessing in any relationship with a man. (It's a good way to kill the romance, if any, and get a "friend.")

Some women theorize that men retreat to their "caves" for respite from the demands of conversation and emotions in their interactions with women. Actually men just "hunker down" or go what I call "nose down" to focus on the things that men must do -- and we must, because women expect a great deal of us but may forget to allow us time to do it. In other words, men tend to compartmentalize our lives, so when one segment intrudes on another to its detriment, we impose a balance to ensure that we meet our responsibilities (and preserve our peace of mind). Women tend to put their own needs and "the relationship" as their highest priority but men tend to require an equilibrium between their careers (and hence finances) and their personal lives (and hence relationships).

Women may also be more sensitive to triggers in past relationships or disappointments that foment insecurities in their present relationships. (A man is not likely to start sobbing "You didn't call me after our dinner date, so I felt rejected just like last weekend a year ago when I was dating Lou.") On the contrary, a man will not only forget the name of any past relationship a woman might name, but he doesn't want to hear it in the first place.

WHY would you ever have a phone conversation about weight? Do you think a man would EVER discuss or admit to being less than perfect himself? Quid pro quo. You can't play by the rules when the other person refuses to play by the rules (without hurting yourself anyway).

Maybe it's time for action (and to be clear, by this I don't mean going online in search of a date, I mean being good to yourself and making a choice to avoid attitudes and interactions that involve beating up on yourself).

Email: Avoid disillusionment [EH]

Bad photos seem to infect about one-fifth of all online denizens, men mostly. Just scroll through some profiles and you'll see some very scary photos!

Or don't. If online is not working for you and you feel disillusioned, then you should damn well not touch another profile to save your life. If you ever feel like your heart is broken and you just can't keep doing something, then you should have STOPPED DOING THAT THING LONG AGO. Just my opinion but it's the same opinion of anyone whose heart hasn't melted down into an unusable pile of slag.

Time heals all wounds. Just get off this online thing and take care of yourself. This means don't let your heart feel broken again. Don't feel like you deserve a certain response for your efforts. Love is not like a vending machine. It is like passing clouds. You never know when you will see a bunny ... or a horsedrawn carriage...