Press: Our options have changed … - Slate

Slate: Our Options Have Changed … - To continue in jargon, press 1. By Evan Eisenberg:

"Unplug your modem, power down your computer, and mix yourself a stiff drink. Drink it. Now restart your computer and plug the modem back in. Did this resolve the problem? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.

While holding down the control and option keys, crouch on the floor, making chugging and whistling sounds. Say, 'I think I can, I think I can.' Continue in this manner for five minutes. Did this resolve the problem? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.

Do you attend a church, synagogue, mosque, tabernacle, or other house of worship regularly (that is, three times a month or more)? If yes, press 1. If no, better press 1 anyway."

Prayers: Breastplate of St. Patrick

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea,
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's hosts to save me
Afar and anear,
Alone or in a mulitude.

Christ shield me today
Against wounding
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through the mighty strength
Of the Lord of creation.

Neologisms: mussle

To mess with (conflation of meddle and tussle).

Weblogs: Cell C takes care of your morning clumsiness

Adrants - Cell C Takes Care of Your Morning Clumsiness: "Sometimes things just don't go quite right when you are getting ready for your day. Thankfully, there's Cell C, a South African cellular company that offers free medical rescue as part of its service."

(MG sent me this clip so I visited Cell C's web site in Zaire -- nada. The only place to view it online seems to be a link off this Adrant post. Select your video format in the upper right to begin the ad's display in the upper left of the fourth-party purveyor's screen.

Boy that is a well-done but weird -- soulless -- ad that would make me run from this company not buy from them! I don't think people like commercials where the character has gone out of control and is in danger.)

Lyrics: Servant Song - Rich Gillard

I will weep when you are weeping.
When you laugh, I'll laugh with you.
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through.

[Will you] let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you.
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant, too.

Lyrics: Song for Ireland

Talking all the day
With true friends who try to make you stay
Telling jokes and news
Singing songs to pass the night away
Watched the galway salmon run
Like silver dancing, darting in the sun

Living on your western shore
Saw summer sun sets, I asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic Sea

And sang a song for Ireland

Email: Irish Catholic dispensation [DB]

The [Houston] Chronicle article quoted [Irish Catholic] laypersons who said they were happy to have the [bishop's] dispensation [to eat corned beef on a Friday in Lent] so they didn't endanger their mortal soul...

They are so mixed up...!

Email: Progressative? [AS]

I feel re intimacy progressive in prospect yet conservative in practice. I have no intention of joining the Partner of the Month (or Week) club. It's the relationship that feeds intimacy, not the other way around.

I love Irish music, language, and drink year-round.

Words: inveigle [AHED]

TRANSITIVE VERB: Inflected forms: in·vei·gled, in·vei·gling, in·vei·gles
1. To win over by coaxing, flattery, or artful talk. See synonyms at lure. 2. To obtain by cajolery: inveigled a free pass to museum.
ETYMOLOGY: Middle English envegle, alteration of Old French aveugler, to blind, from aveugle, blind, from Vulgar Latin *aboculus : Latin ab-, away from; see ab–1 + Latin oculus, eye (probably loan-translation of Gaulish exsops ( exs-, from + ops, eye); see okw- in Appendix I.

Words: guile [AHED]

NOUN: 1. Treacherous cunning; skillful deceit. 2. Obsolete A trick or stratagem.
TRANSITIVE VERB: Inflected forms: guiled, guil·ing, guiles
Archaic To beguile; deceive.
ETYMOLOGY: Middle English, from Old French, of Germanic origin; akin to Old English wigle, divination, sorcery.

Words: gaffe, gaff [AHED]

NOUN: 1. A clumsy social error; a faux pas: “The excursion had in his eyes been a monstrous gaffe, a breach of sensibility and good taste” (Mary McCarthy). 2. A blatant mistake or misjudgment.
ETYMOLOGY: French, from Old French, hook. See gaff.

NOUN: 1. A large iron hook attached to a pole or handle and used to land large fish. 2. Nautical A spar attached to the mast and used to extend the upper edge of a fore-and-aft sail. 3a. A sharp metal spur or spike fastened to the leg of a gamecock. b. A climbing hook used by telephone and electric line workers. 4. Slang A trick or gimmick, especially one used in a swindle or to rig a game. 5. Slang Harshness of treatment; abuse.
TRANSITIVE VERB: Inflected forms: gaffed, gaf·fing, gaffs
1. To hook or land (a fish) using a gaff. 2. To equip (a gamecock) with a gaff. 3. Slang a. To take in or defraud; swindle. b. To rig or fix in order to cheat: knew that the carnival games had been gaffed.
ETYMOLOGY: Middle English gaffe, from Old French, from Old Provençal gaf, from gafar, to seize, of Germanic origin. See kap- in Appendix I.

Email: I Am Curious George (Yellow) [AS]

I [have in from Netflix] Maria Full of Grace (a good Catholic Colombian girl becomes a drug mule hoping to find a better life in America) or La Femme Nikita (a streetwise young woman is coerced into training as a leading operative in a shadowy antiterrorist organization). Hm, there seems to be a theme in my movie viewing lately -- even if I did see and love Curious George (an innocent monkey is kidnapped -- read the books -- and shipped to America for vague profit motives -- they are children's books after all). Hm...

Email: Rindercella [DB]

Lit out of shuck, huh? I love the spooneristic retelling of Rindercella, who slopped her glass dripper...

Typos: fruid (fluid)

A fruity Druid?

Trivia: E. E. Cummings

"E. E. Cummings can be capitalized, however, since one of his publishers, not he himself, lowercased his name." (Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition, 8.6, p. 312).

Email: Abs(t)in(en)the? [AS]

I'm adding the letters that turn absinthe into abstinence (with a lisp), like how they say "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder" but then turning absence into abstinence.

I wasn't trying to get you on any spelling error (nor did I notice one), I was just making a multilayered (obtuse) joke. How me of me.

Words: scatty [MW]

Pronunciation: 'ska-tE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): scat·ti·er; -est
Etymology: probably from scatterbrain + -y
chiefly British : CRAZY